I know at times in our lives we all suffer from insecurities. However lately I have come to the conclusion that I have insecurities and fears self doubt that I put on myself in many areas of my life.
This will be a series of personal posts!
I was at the doctor with my two little boys yesterday filling out the forms on what things they could do on their own and what they could not. As I was filling out things they could not do I stopped and questioned myself that maybe they should be able to do the things. I really questioned myself as their mother. Honestly I felt like a failure. After the Dr went over the forms she did state that they were not behind in any way. She did say that my 3 year old is very close to falling behind. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I started to think that I should be more strict and making them sit down and do more learning activities all day. The doctor did put my mind at ease when stated it was normal for him to be behind or close to it after everything he’s been through with all his hospitalizations and surgeries.
I still feel this guilt that my children are not where they should be on educational level that I’m somehow failing them. It makes me question how I take care of my children , how I’m raising them and what kind of mother I am. Income does insecurities telling me I’m not good enough I am a failure the self doubt hits hard. Am I a good mom? This is something I have to learn to answer for myself. Do I think I’m a good mom? I struggle with this question. My kids are happy, they are healthy and they are loving. But do they whine too much, are they too picky, are they behind on educational level? The answer to all of these sometimes could be yes and other times I’m not sure how to answer them.
Expressing this to everyone is difficult but expressing it to myself is even harder.
I think a big thing for me is to STOP comparing myself to other moms. I’m not perfect and I never will be but I love my children and try to always do what’s best for them. There are many aspects I need to work on and I believe that will come in time.
I will not let insecurities get the best of me anymore and neither should YOU!!!
I love this. So many times, as a mom, we feel the need to compare ourselves to others. It’s instilled in us. The dr.s tell us when kids should do this or that (which by the way apparently is getting younger and younger.. BS by the time my son have kids they’ll be expected to read chapter books at 2!) I have decided I will not subject myself to the rules society has set for me, I will not compare myself to all my friends. the first year of my son’s life I spent crying and feeling like a failure and THAT took away from me being a good mom. I vow to spend time with my son, PLAY with him, teach him to cook and teach him respect. If he learns things on the slower side of the dr’s ideal list, screw it! I didn’t know that crap at his age and I am one smart cookie! I will be there to help back you and remind you to stop downing yourself and let go. It is so much more freeing